Motherhood is the purpose of womanhood, but no one is ever ready to face all the pain and struggles physically and psychologically. “The choice of whether or not to have children is probably the most important one of a woman’s life. Just think about it-if you marry the wrong person, you can get a divorce,” wrote Ellen Walker, PhD. “But a child is your responsibility for the next eighteen years, and on some levels for the rest of your life.”
“Many couples do not give themselves permission to thoughtfully explore whether or not having children is right for them because of fears of being different, disappointing others or missing out on life experiences that couples with children experience,” said Joyce Marter, LCPC.
Being unprepared activates the mother instinct, and it may be the reason why women seem to have a switch turning them from an innocent, spontaneous girl to a solemn and bound individual. Some women may say they have been looking forward to raising a little angel and that they have been preparing their whole life, but after a while when the baby arrives, mothers seem stressed, and no matter how we justify, stress is never a sign of happiness.
Let’s Find Out About The Essential Issues A Mother-To-Be Would Face:
Late Nights
If it is your first time to have a baby and you are going to be a mom full time, expect late nights and less sleeping hours. It means you would likely have eye bags and dark circles. Two years ago, you may be awake until 4:00 am because you are at a friend’s party, but when you are a mom, expect to have less to no social gatherings at all. It’s not that you can’t leave the baby, but there’s always a push which tells you the right thing to do as a mother.
Fewer Clothes
Expect to come out of the mall without anything for you in a bag. You may be used to shopping for yourself, getting the latest trends in fashion. When you are a mom, there is always a feeling of self-pity and desire to pamper yourself. You think of going to the mall to buy stuff for yourself, but it wouldn’t really happen because you will end up shopping for your little angel.
Less Attention
If you used to get all the attention from your parents and partner, chances are you would be having less and less. Your love for your baby makes it okay, and it’s what you exactly want, but eventually, you will feel as if no one notices you anymore. It is because the welfare of the baby comes first, and as much as it can consume you, it is okay.
Less Peace
Being a mother requires us to love someone more than anything in this world, and when you become a mom, it is like you are going to have a complete reform of your brain. The things you worry about before do not seem to matter that much anymore, and you will have a constant worry about your baby, even thinking about the future when he would have his first heartbreak.
Motherhood is liberation from selfish thoughts. Marie Hartwell-Walker, EdD, said, “Children should never be brought into the world because the parent needs love. The love of a child is not a substitute for the love of a parent, a partner or friends. Yes, loving our children gets us some loving but that’s a byproduct, not the primary reason we have them.”
It somehow seems like a portal that transforms a woman. There are many changes and adjustments which can sometimes cause emotional exhaustion. It is because no one is ever really ready for it no matter how she thinks she prepared for it. The feelings and emotions revolving motherhood are new and unique. It’s like crossing the bridge when you get there, and you don’t have a choice but to be ready and be a mom.